Flying in Europe

When I first moved to Europe (the first time) I had this roses and sunshine idea that I was going over their and light the sky on fire.
I had noooo idea what I was getting into.
I was at the time teaching for KLM, but they wanted me to stay in the States, not live in Holland ( these are just a few of the complications that arise when you run off with a colleague, something I will never do again.)
So I went to work for a place at Eelde ( EHGG ) called General Enterprises,the European importers of the Cirrus SR20. I was the Demo/Instructor pilot and had a blast with that little hot rod. My partner was flying Barons and Bonanzas, and was 3 months away from 747-400 school, so we were busy having the last hurrah before he moved into the heavys.We would dog fight, fly formation, and have generally way too much fun.
So then the winter arrived.
I learned to fly in Arizona,where, if the weather is bad, you simply dont fly (unless you are a freight dog of course)
Not so in the Netherlands.It is generally a bit easier as the IMC is generally stratiform layers and makes for a pretty smooth ride, and you can usually get on top.
So, on a saturday morning the weather was wet and crappy. ( The weather there is always wet and crappy or cold and crappy or a combination thereof.)
Consider this METAR: 2605 200OVC BR 2 miles vis 11/12 QNH 1011. So it was an IFR kinda day. Lets go practice some approaches! I was ALL exited ( actual IMC! WOO HOO)
VORDME RWY 5 at Eelde, flying right over our little house in Norg so I could rev the propellor at my boy who was 10 at the time.
Approach is going well, down to the MDA, then proceed to the MAP ( for those who dont know,everything in the pilot world is an acronym, MDA means minimum descent altitude which means if you go lower that that and you are in the clouds and cant see, you might clobber into something. MAP is the missed approach point, the place where, if you cant see the runway, you cant land and must execute the missed approach procedure)
I cant see any runway lights! Hey, I said to my partner, I dont see the rabbit ( approach lights) They are expensive he exclaims, Fly the Heading!! ( ?? !! )
So I did, and there was the runway ( kind of ) so I shoot the miss and once
established outbound I started to question him about the light situation. He explained to me that there was a tax on approach lights, the approach, the airway, the landing,etc,etc,
Can you believe that? What a detriment to flight safety!
WQe dont realize how well we have it here in the states. We can thank AOPA for preventing the same situation from occuring here.It would not only strike a serious blow to GA ,but accidents would have a serious increase due to pilots not utilizing vital services.
I was in for some other surprises as well.....

Heavy

For all you aspiring freight dogs, there is one little item that I havent heard much commenting about; The Loaders......
Loaders are not pilots, they dont understand such things as "center of gravity" and "maximum gross weight". They are of the "stuff it and go" mentality and they figure that if it fits, its good to go.
I had the Safford/FtHuachuca/Skyharbor run previously, and had a terrible time with the loaders in Ft Huachuca. I will say this because they are notorious and this is no new news to anyone.They would overload the plane and lie about the total weight.I got wise to this really quick and began to have issues with them. I called them the seven dwarves because 5 would stand around telling stupid jokes while 2 would actually work.Took them on average 40 minutes to load my plane which drove me nuts. I would stand there tapping my watch saying "come on boys,its GO time " They would moan and groan and try to distract me as I at this point was making them weigh each package as I could not trust them.
About 6 weeks ago I was doing my usual strict surveillance when my phone rang. It was BLB a good friend and my former chief pilot who was in Airbus school.
I was so happy to hear from him that I turned away from the loaders and had a brief conversation. Afterwards, I noticed the loaders trying to stuff a large trunk in the aft portion of the tail section ( no cargo is allowed there ) and I made them take it out ( it weighed 250 ilbs ) I asked them of the total weight "1850 ilbs" they sweetly replied. Hmmmmmm, could barely close the cargo door....
Wind blowing 35 gust 42 out of the southwest, runway 26, 11,000 foot runway.
Launch
On the go, 3/4 of the way down I almost aborted the takeoff, (should have) .....
staggered off the ground with 200 ft per minute climb. Tossed around by the wind flowing over the mountains in front of me, I held runway heading to try and get some altitude. I was mentally killing off the 7 dwarves all the while, getting griped at by approach control for not climbing steep enough to avoid terrain, not to mention my fuel flow was very high due to the fact that I couldnt get to altitude soon enough.....
Continued on Finally got to altitude,but I was concious of my fuel being lower than normal.....
Back to Sky Harbor and the evening dance begins, who gets in first behind the heavys.Fuel is looking low and Im getting nervous, Approach is vectoring me hither and yon, and the fuel annuciatiors start going off...$%*!. 2 yellow ones I can live with temporarily...Still no base leg vector from ATC. Then the RED one goes off. OK now its time to pull the fuel card on ATC and I announce "(call sign) minimum fuel".. amazing how that gets their attention. They brought me in with no delay, my favorite runway to boot.And I was able to shut down well within legal limitations.

Anyhow, I had the ground crew at Sky Harbor weigh freight, and it was WAY off what the seven dwarves had said....
That was the last time I did that run, but from what I hear, the seven dwarves are still up to their old tricks...................

Another Checkride

It seems that all I have been doing lately is taking checkrides. Just had the 299 with the the Feds and now I have do the prof check for my JAR FCL ATP.
Goody.
I hadnt been in a small plane for about 4 months, ( I guess the Heavy drivers would call the Van small, but bear with me here )
So I go to my apointment with a Dutch examinor (has anyone ever flown with a Dutch examinor?? They make the Feds look easy)I am all stressed out, because my last JAR OPS check was in Belgium a few years ago with a good friend, and I havent thought about JAR OPS in, WEELLL lets just say quite a while. And for those of you out there who dont know, The JAR OPS theoretical portion ( particularily the Dutch standard) is just about what it would take to get a PHD.Great, I am sure that my blonde moments are stacking up to betray me at just the right times. So I get all stressed and try to study but Im so tired from doing the freight run that " my mind turns to gel"
So I figure, heck with it, I am just going to do it and if I fall on my face well then fine.
It was an evening flight, I met De Here Plooij at the Falcons Roost at ( you guessed it ) Falcon Field. Trying to remember the runways and the frequencies and the noise abatement procedures and so on.
What I really want is a beer from yon bar!
He shows up and we talk a bit, but I am not being grilled on
L =1/2(Roe)V(squared)CL(max)S (sorry, my computer doesnt have the sigils for that formula, but again, bear with me)He is just being very easy going and, well, NICE!!
He briefed the flight,then he says "ok,lets go fly" I am pinching myself!
So we go out to the ramp, little piper 140, kind and easy but...( yikes!) Underpowered as could POSSIBLY be!! ( once you go turbine, you NEVER go back)
preflight, trying to remember where all the fuel drains are and so on... and I am trying to remember the flow items from my days of instructing for KLM.
Get in start,taxi checks and flows, its all ok, its just my view... I am used to sitting so much higher and this cockpit is SO small.
Flight went well,
and then came the touch n gos!
First landing... ( we all know whats coming here!)I,of course, flare TOO HIGH but hey its ok right, because I am also TOO FAST. Goodbye thousand foot markers.., not good on a 4000 foot runway ( Crap! im thinking )oh well,after the first one I had the picture and did well. After my third landing he said "ok, we can go in" ( !!!!!! )
We debriefed, had a beer and that was that!
Next week I am starting the training for my new job, and guess what I am getting in a few weeks...........$#@%
Another checkride!!!!